Category: Dating and Relationships
Because you might fall in love? Because they're less restrictive? Zone bbs, lemmie hear you!
I honestly believe an open relationship can work because there's a huge difference between love and lust, though they are inter related. It truely depends on the two people involved, there trust of each other and all that but in my opinion, anyone can feal lust for someone but the exchange of love is something much more special.
sorry if this isn't makeing complete logical sense, i'm alittle tired.
But, I'd like to note, a relationship like this isn't ment for everyone by any means, probably shouldn't be something many should consitter unless they are comfortable with themselves in a way that many arn't and have a connection with there partner that is verry dynamic and doesn't rely on lust to keep the relationship afloat. The partner also should live up to the personal requirement I set in this paragraph.
I think an open relationship could work, but only if the couple has extremely good communication. It would be essential to stay on the same page regarding the state of things. Definitely not for everyone, including me. But, if two people can agree on it, it's certainly better than cheating on your partner.
There is an interesting book called The Ethical Slut which explores asspects of this in more detail.
I've heard of that book, and think it would be an interesting read. Where do you get it?
I've done it, and at this time date, so don't have a study GF. It can work easy, but most people don't have the ability to do it because of need to own, or have their person to themselves. I learned I can actually love more then 1 person deeply, but not the same if that makes sense. I am and have had mono relationships for vary long times, but I just don't have the need to own her if she is honest.Maybe sometime I'll find that mono person again, the person I wish to be with period. I'm not out looking to add on, but if I meet someone I enjoy the ability to experience her without guilt. Just easier to me, but it does require trust, and it doesn't take anything away from the other person, because she is different.
agreed with james on this 100 percent. You deffinitly have to both be on the same page. I personally couldn't do it because I'm very territorial, not possessive but I do like to know that he's mine.
this won't work for me. if wanting an open relationship, why don't just be friends, and have casual dates instead?
i can't imagine myself sharing my another half with someone else, or constently thinking who he with and what he's doing when we're not together.
I agree with those who've said everyone has to be on the same page...I couldn't do it, but more power to those who do, if that's what they choose.
i'm picky and greedy no way.
I also agree that open relationships can work out. The main thing, as has already been stated, is to keep communication open and to be honest with all partners in general. I'm in one right now, and if I find a man in whom I'm interested, I always say right up front that it's purely out of lust and that I am in a serious relationship and am only looking for an fwb. I haven't been with anyone physically since I started dating my boyfriend a little over two and a half years ago, but I've had some virtual fun and might meet one or two people in the future. He knows of my attraction to older men and that I might like to experiment. He said that I'm young and should do what makes me happy. So if I do find someone, he's the first person I tell. as for how I'd feel if he were to find someone else, logically, I'd have to let him, since it's a two-way street. I mean, i can't expect him to say it's okay for me and then turn around and tell him that he can't. But I'm honestly not really sure how it would play out in real life. I might get a little hurt or upset. I'm also 100% positive that he's not interested in going with another woman. So that could be what makes me so comfortable. It's kind of strange, cause this is my first real relationship. The rest were just friends with benefits, so it was only natural that I could have more than one at a time. I was very nervous, therefor, when I first brought up the idea of there possibly being other men in my life. But, as was said, there's also a huge difference between love and lust. I could like a guy's voice, body etc, but when it really comes down to the wire, there's only one man I want sharing my life with me.
I think The Ethical Slut is on Bookshare.
Why is it a bad idea?
I don't think that it's a bad idea. I think it's something that would not work for me, but that doesn't mean it isn't right for others.
I just don't think holding someone is love. Sure lust is different too, and sometimes we lust. I think after the relationship grows a while then naturally the lust goes away, because someone works out for you. Sitting around wondering about where she is, and with whom seems a waist of energy. You can agree to have a one on one, but if one or the other person finds someone they are interested in lustful, or maybe love they will go, and should. Guilt is a bad thing to live with. Keep it easy, honest, and free, and if it is meant it will stay. But I can see how it's not easy for most.
Yeah I was telling a friend I was curious about one. She feels its just like having a fwb and not an actual relationship and all of a sudden, I want a fish sandwich. Anyway people are afraid of catching something or discovering that he/she is leaving you because someone they were doing it with gave them such great sex. Of course I can understand those concerns. Hell I've never tried it so I'm not sure how I'd feel. but then there's what you said Forereel. You might say that more than it being emoral most people are just jealous selfish posessive a bit controling and insecure. Because one never knows if one is the persons true love and maybe by having that person only be with one at a time, take away their chance of finding him/her. We all have issues getting over ourselves(ego trip). Don't want to be shown up by the hot hunk or bitch. Those are some of the reasons why for some of us, open relationships are out of the question!
I think its success depends on, as many people have said, making sure you're on the same page, otherwise things will get really messy. I also think, however, that's a good start if you find someone of interest, but are not quite sure if you're meant to be committed yet. Personally, I couldn't do it in a serious relationship, which I'm in now, but if you're just sort of....trying things, then why not, as long as the two of you agree on it.
an open relatoinship could work if ur not ready to settle down if u still want to play the feild then u can have a open relationship and it could work